Ignatius and Carmel

Today's feast of St Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, reminds me of my journey into the Catholic Church. I grew up imbued with the black legend of the Jesuits as ruthless schemers and conspirators, a dark force of manipulators. After all did we not have the word 'Jesuitical' with all it's nasty connotations? But as I began to learn for the first time about the sufferings of British Catholics in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, I realised that my image of the Jesuits was simply a product of hostile propaganda. In truth Ignatius was a man deeply converted and wholly devoted to Jesus, and most of his followers were the same. My first Director as a Catholic was a Jesuit, and he asked me if I would contemplate doing a Thirty Day Retreat, but the prospect terrified me at the time, the circumstances were not propitious, and it came to nothing. Now after more than twenty years as a Carmelite I find the Carmelite way of life more than fulfilling and indeed all-embracing. I tell myself from time to time that I must educate myself more about the topic of Ignatian spirituality, but in the meantime I wander happily in the garden of Carmel, as attentive as I can be to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.